Brighton and Kennedy Return to Lair to Plan for Tomorrow Night
After the unfortunate collapse of yet another evil scheme, the enigmatic cartoon duo Mark Brighton and Esther Kennedy returned to their laboratory hideout deep within the Pierce Island Wastewater Treatment Plant to plan again for tomorrow night. “I was so close,” said...
Councilor legally renames herself to the Seal of the City of Portsmouth
In a pre-emptive maneuver against the upcoming City Council vote on the results of her ethics committee hearing, the Councilor formerly known as Esther Kennedy has legally changed her name to a symbol identical to the Seal of the City of Portsmouth. “Shortly after the...
Other Portsmouth Neighborhoods: We Exist
Earlier this week, City Councilor Esther Kennedy brought to our attention the official channels through which Portsmouth neighborhoods can eliminate inconveniences, however transient, by requiring governmental review and redistribution of personal nuisances...
EXCLUSIVE: The Tug interview with the Prescott Sisters
As the city approaches the time of the year when the veil is thin and people are dusting off their best "sexy Mayor Foley" costume, the Tug is pleased to announce the first in a series of exclusive interviews with famous Portsmouth residents thanks to the seance...
The Tug’s 2019 City Council Candidate Questions
As Portsmouth residents let out a collective sigh at the pageantry and sign pollution destined to come about every two years, The Tug is prepared to provide the hard hitting questions that city council candidates truly deserve. This year, we asked our readers for some...
City of Porstmouth Unveils New Name and Logo Unrelated to Councilor’s Tattoo
The City of Porstmouth (formerly Portsmouth) unveiled its new name and logo Monday after an emergency work session by eight members of the City Council and some quick work by an intern - work absolutely unrelated to a perceived misspelling on a tattoo recently applied...
City to counteract graffiti artists by just drawing dicks on everything
After a pervasive wave of mediocre graffiti, the DPW and PPD have teamed up on a counter-graffiti task force to dissuade the vandals by just drawing dicks on everything. “Honestly, we just haven’t had the manpower to catch them in the act,” said Portsmouth Chief of...
Plan to Partner With Vrunch/BT501 to Develop McIntyre Site as Shelter Where The Last Life May Have a Chance at Surviving The Hungry Shadows Draws Mixed Reviews
March 11th 2159 Portsmouth - A meeting intended to unite the survivors of the Battle of the Shipyard Husks against a common threat with a plan to build a ramshackle shelter in the McIntyre building drew mixed reviews last Tuesday. “The Cloud comes for us all: men,...
McIntyre building to become 24/7 public comment space
Following a long and grueling process, the master plan for the redevelopment of the McIntyre building on Daniel Street was finally settled Monday night to become a twenty-four hour public comment space to discuss the McIntyre building project.
Breaking New Grounds Sold After Owner Gets “An Offer He Couldn’t Refuse”
An historic building at 14 Market Square, home of the only Portsmouth public bathrooms (with attached coffee shop), has been transferred in an hostile takeover from the Govoni family to Southern New Hampshire’s powerful Faro syndicate. “We’ve been eyeing Govoni’s...
Editorial: City Should Get Sexy on McIntyre
Now that the Federal Government has generously given us a moment’s pause to consider our plans as a city for the McIntyre Building, we want to take a minute agree with the Portsmouth Herald Editorial Board, a publication that strives in vain at greatness but...
Progressive Portsmouth
We are so lucky to live in such a tolerant and progressive part of New Hampshire. Believe me, I’ve lived in other parts of the state, and Portsmouth is, hands down, the most accepting community I have ever been a part of. I thought I would take a moment to share a...
Tug writers escape from captivity in SRT smuggler tunnels
Friends, it’s about time we leveled with you. News of our demise has been greatly exaggerated, and boy do we have a story to tell you.
Public Petition from Short Citizens Seeks to Remedy Music Hall Sign
“I understand our sign is a little low,” says Monte Bohanan, tall person, prolific bike thief, and marketing guru for The Music Hall. “I didn’t think anyone would notice.” Bohanan helped shepard the new marquee and signage for the Music Hall into existence through a...
SML bridge delays due to difficulties dredging ancient locomotive from Piscataqua basin
As resident frustration increases due to continued delays in the opening of the Sarah Long Bridge, officials were forced today to reveal that the delays are due to waiting for an ancient locomotive to be finally removed from the river before construction can be...
Does Current City Councilor Nancy Pearson Have Enough Bite to Continue to be a City Councilor? Probably Yeah.
Candidate Questions 2018 Portsmouth City Councilor Candidate, Nancy Pearson, answers the Tug's Tough Questions. Q: Do you like the Tug? And what is your understanding of how website hosting works? A: I like the Tug enough. I assume website hosting is when you throw a...
Portsmouth City Councilor Candidate Josh Denton, Known Corrupt Chili Judge, Answers the Tug’s Tough Questions
Candidate Questions 2018 Portsmouth City Councilor Candidate, Josh Denton, answers the Tug's Tough Questions. Q: Do you like the Tug? And what is your understanding of how website hosting works? A:I legitimately loved having random people at State Street ask me who I...
The Tug’s Picks for 2018 Portsmouth City Council
With the “other” and crappier news organizations throwing out there endorsements today, we figured we’d better hop on it, so you can know for whom you should mindlessly fill in an ellipse with a Sharpie on November 7th.