As Portsmouth residents let out a collective sigh at the pageantry and sign pollution destined to come about every two years, The Tug is prepared to provide the hard hitting questions that city council candidates truly deserve. This year, we asked our readers for some ideas too, so, you can imagine how well that went.

The Tug invites all Portsmouth City Council candidates to answer the following questions. We will publish all answers submitted back to us. We’d give you all a deadline but we know it won’t matter, Josh. Please send responses to For those candidates without the ability to read this site or send emails, we also accept carrier pigeon.

Good luck and may the odds be ever in your favor.


  1. You may know we also had a proposal for the McIntyre site detailed in our Editorial: City Should Get Sexy on McIntyre. When this proposal eventually happens because of the multiple lawsuits we have planned, what would be your favorite floor? Which other candidate would you enjoy it with the most?
  2. Fuck/Marry/Kill: Wastewater Treatment Facility, McIntyre Project, Sagamore Creek Sewer Project
  3. Only one sign can ever be posted again on any utility poles. What would it say?
  4. Which is easier to understand: commercial property tax valuation or quantum physics? Can you explain a little of both?
  5. If you knew who The Tug are, what would be your lowest bar for betraying us?
  6. Related question: Have you met God? Would you like to?

For bonus points, here’s some of our reader questions:

Who would win in a fight – Matt Louis or Evan Mallett?

If Portsmouth succeeded in seceding from New Hampshire, would it become more annoying like Maine, or obnoxious like Massachusetts?

What are your intentions with my daughter?