The City of Porstmouth (formerly Portsmouth) unveiled its new name and logo Monday after an emergency work session by eight members of the City Council and some quick work by an intern – work absolutely unrelated to a perceived misspelling on a tattoo recently applied on Councilor Rick Becksteads right breast city officials say.
“This has been in the works for a while,” said a visibly nervous Ned Raynolds. “Hasn’t the city always felt more like a Porstmouth than a Portsmouth? We just wanted reality to match that perception.”
The revealed logo is very similar to the City of Porstmouth’s former logo: a steam locomotive hurtling full speed to its doom off the end of a pier, a madman presumably at the controls, while ships with no captains indifferently observe the carnage. The only perceived change as of deadline is the changing of the name of the city from Portsmouth to Porstmouth, along with some noticeable pixelation – a change which city officials say has absolutely nothing to do with Councilor Beckstead’s new tattoo with what could be conceived as a spelling error.
“Ah right, the pixelation,” responded Councilor Rebecca Perkins. “As we move into the digital age, it was important for us to change the logo to reflect that. We’re looking forward as much as we’re looking backwards. There are still madmen at the controls but now the controls are digital. Do you think he’ll buy that? He just gets so angry.”
“That last part is off the record by the way,” she added.
Mayor Jack Blalock, who fears no man, had this to say of the change:
“You ever heard of sunk cost? You can swim against the tide or you can just get back to shore. I like to imagine the tide as an angry city councilor that yells a lot and the shore as sitting in my yard, watching the moths. Moths are incredibly dumb.”
Rick Beckstead was on his nightly five hour call with Herald reporter Jeff McNenemy and could not be reached for comment.